Compass
by DixieFlowers
Summary: Starts during 3x16 and goes from there.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone!**

 **So I came up with this story after watching episode 3x16 again. The story is inspired by the song "compass" by Lady Antebellum.**  
 **This is my take on what happened after. I changed a little (a lot) of what happened during the episode itself and we will just go on from there.**  
 **for all of you Joel and Vivian Haters – don't worry I'm a hardcore Zade fan.**

 **The first episode is shorter but the next ones will be longer for sure!**

 **Important things you need to know:**

 **1\. English is not my native language so I'm sorry for my mistakes!**

 **2\. I know where I want to take this story but if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them**

 **3\. I'll try to update as often as possible. University is taking the life of me**

 **4\. Reviews make me happy. Like, REALLY HAPPY.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

The last six weeks have been difficult for her. With Joel in L.A, their house renovation and working at the practice she barely had time to breathe. But up until now she didn't realize how this situation actually saved her. Saved her from her own thoughts. It was 2am and she was tossing and turning in bed. Joel should be back tomorrow for the weekend. It could have been comforting if she wouldn't know that once this weekend is over he would be back in L.A and then London. She got out of bed and went over Lavon's house. As she approached the door, she heard noises inside. When she opened it she saw Lavon, Wade and Vivian watching something on TV.

"Big Z! What are you doing here at this hour?"

"Zoe! I didn't know you're awake or else I would have told you to join us! "Vivian got up from the couch and moved towards the kitchen

"Yes, we got back from the Rammer Jammer and we weren't tired so we decided to watch a movie" Lavon added.

"It's okay, guys. I just couldn't sleep so I thought I'd get a snack or something ..." She poured herself a glass of milk.

"everything's all right, Doc?" Wade joined the conversation.

"Yes, why?" She folded her hands

"I don't know, Shakespeare's back tomorrow. You're supposed to be all perky and talk endlessly" Vivian hit his arm.

"It's just been a long day and I'm tired ..." She stood up, "I'll see you tomorrow, guys"

 **Xxxxxxx**

"Ladies and gentlemen, this year's man of the year is, uh, a true inspiration. His dedication to his career has inspired us all to make our own work a little bit better. It took us a while to get used to…his ways, but, um… he slowly wormed his way into our hearts with his kindness, his humor and his sheer will. And we also love the way he loved our own Dr. Hart.  
Our man of the year… Mr. Joel Stevens." Dash announced and everyone at the Rammer Jammer applauded. Joel kissed Zoe and took the stage to speak.

"Wow, I am shocked and I do not know how to thank you. You have no idea what it means to me. The beginning has not been easy, but you have let me in and now I feel part of this place. The first time I came here I thought it was just for a couple of days and see where I am today; I have friends and have my own house here. My biggest thanks of course goes to you, my love, Zoe Hart, I owe you a lot. Thank you for bringing me here. I guess that by now all of you have already heard about my trip to London. "There were noises heard in the crowd. Wade, Lavon, Brick and Vivian all looked at each other "I will miss this place, but I promise to return. Thank you all!" And everyone applauded again.

"Did you guys know?" Wade asked them

"No" they all answered together.

"Poor Zoe" Vivian looked at her from distance.

"Yeah..." Lavon and Wade looked at each other with worried faces.

The party at the Rammer Jammer continued as usual. Everyone wanted to get a chance to say goodbye to Joel. He made sure to talk to everyone but at the same time he was looking for Zoe. She had just left the bathroom and he took the opportunity that Tom Long was not paying attention for a moment and slipped away

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" He whispered to her

"Yes, of course. You're All right?"

"Yes, yes. Let's go outside."

"Okay ..." She was confused

They stood outside the bar but were still close enough to see what was going on inside.

"So ...?" She turned toward him. He took her hand in his.

"I wanted to thank you personally for everything ..."

She smiled

"And to tell you I want you to come with me ..."

"Joel ..."

"And I want you to marry me"

She froze and stared with wide eyes

"What?"

"Marry me. Come with me to London. Then we get back here, I promise"

She didn't know what to say. She could see Wade and Vivian over Joel's shoulder. Vivian leaned on him and his hand circled her waist. She whispered something in his ear and he laughed.

"Yes!"

"Yes?" His eyes twinkled

"Yes!" She hugged him tightly.

They went inside; Joel cleared his throat and asked for everyone's attention.

"Guys, before I leave, we have something to tell all of you..." Zoe and Joel looked at each other

"We are engaged," he declared happily

Zoe and Wade locked eyes for what seemed to feel eternity, while the rest of the townspeople, jumped up to greet the couple.

Two hours later the place began to empty. Wade was behind the bar, cleaning glasses, he saw Vivian, Zoe and Joel talking and laughing. Soon after, Joel and Zoe left.

"Hey, is something wrong? You're quiet"

"Yeah, great"

"It's strange, isn't it?" She put her elbows on the bar and watched him

"What is strange?" He mumbled

"Zoe and Joel. I know I didn't know her before him. And Joel is a great guy. But it's like ... marrying yourself? Does that make sense?"

"Well, you can't help who you fall in love with" he muttered but Vivian noticed a strange tone in his voice, but she ignored it.

"I suppose ... So we are going to continue our party alone?" she teased

"Um, I think I will stay here and help Wanda close. It's a mess in here"

"Oh, okay. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah" She stood on her toes, kissed him and left.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Oh no, I forgot my purse there." Zoe and Joel were almost home when she remembered

"We can go back for it"

"No, that's fine; Wanda is supposed to be there. I'll go and meanwhile you can prepare everything for tomorrow"

She made her way back to the Rammer Jammer.

She was about to enter the door when she ran into Wade who was standing in the doorway locking the place.

"Oh. I thought it was Wanda's turn to close today ... I just... I forgot my purse inside," she was nervous and she didn't know why

"I know, I was planning to drop it to you later"

"Thank you" she gave a half-smile

"You're headed to the plantation?"

"Yes, Joel is waiting ..." she almost whispered

"Come on, I'll take you. I'm going home"

They moved quietly into his car.

"Didn't you and Vivian have plans for tonight?" She looked at him

"Ah, yes, but I was needed here, and we were tired anyway"

She nodded. The continued quietly.

"So ... are you leaving tomorrow?"

"Joel is. I will join later, it wasn't really planned ..."

"Yes, I see you don't have a ring," he murmured

She bit her lip, "Yes ..."

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that"

"It's okay." She rubbed her finger where the ring is supposed to be.

"We're here." They both went out and looked at each other

"Good night Zoe"

She nodded

"Good night Wade" He nodded back and was about to get into the gatehouse

"Hey, Wade?"

He stopped and turned his head

"Thank you."

"There's nothing to thank for, doc"


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews! You all made me smile! and thanks everyone who followed this story!**

 **I'm getting all the Zade feels again just by writing it. I miss them so much!**

 **It's a shorter chapter than I had planned originally, but I had to stop it at this point.**

 **Next one will be out sooner.**

 **and once again, sorry for my English mistakes.**

 **Thanks again everyone!**

* * *

"I can't believe you're leaving us again Zoe"

She was sitting with Annabeth at the Rammer Jammer. The place was relatively empty this evening, everyone in town were busy dealing with the current scandal Fillmore. Wanda brought them drinks to the table.

"Oh, Wanda, we didn't order yet"

"Look at it as farewell drinks from all of us. on the house" all of us. The words echoed in her head. She took a sip from the glass, it was her favorite wine. She looked up and met his gaze. He stood behind the bar, as usual. He nodded. Yeah, right. All of us. She smiled to herself.

"Thanks, guys. But it's only a few months, I'll be back again. Bluebell is my home. I will miss you greatly" she sighed.

"ooooh, And when you come back we can plan your wedding!" AB cheerfully declared "Have you already decided on a date? Are you a winter wedding kind of girl? Or Summer? I think spring is better but"

"Wow AB, breathe!" Zoe interrupted with a chuckle. "There is still time. With all the rush of leaving we didn't get a chance to t talk about it yet "

"Well, I trust it would be perfect. aww Zoe, Joel's so cute. He couldn't live without you, so he did everything in order for you to come with him. You are perfect for each other!" Wanda declared enthusiastically. Zoe smiled sheepishly.

"Well, I have to go start packing."

"Want some help?" AB asked

"Yes, please, my savior!" She took a last sip from the wine. They picked up their bags and went their way quickly.

Wanda took the glasses back, she moved behind the bar. "Love is wonderful, isn't it?" She sighed happily. Wade returned a forced smile.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

She hated goodbyes. She tried to make it as little painful and dramatic as possible. The plan was that everybody will meet at Lavon's and she will say her goodbyes all at once. "There is no point in saying goodbye to each individually" she told herself. It's not that she doesn't plan to return. Bluebell is her home, she had no doubt. That's where she belongs. No, this is not a real goodbye. It's just a vacation. Relatively long vacation because she knew she wouldn't be able to practice medicine when they are in London. But hey, it's not so bad, there are so many things to do in London. She had wanted to go back to visit Europe for a long time now. The last time she was there she was with her parents. Well, with her mother and Ethan. She was a little girl and they made a trip across Europe. She knew she was going to go back at some point in life, she just did not think it would be that way. She always imagined a romantic holiday in Paris or Rome. "London is also an incredible place and everything will be fine. And Joel is amazing and we're getting married, i must do it for him, as he followed me to Bluebell" she kept telling herself. And if at some point she'd get bored, she has a wedding to plan, so yes, everything will be fine.  
 _"Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine"_ She repeated in her head. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"That's what I need to remember"

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

And of course she was wrong. She looked around the room at all the people who came to say goodbye to her and she knew it was going to be much harder than she wanted it to.

"Big Z, I have already got used to my best friend being here again. What will I do without you?" Lavon held her tightly

"Aww Lavon, I will miss you so much. What will I do without your Breakfasts? The pancakes, the pastries! You think they have pastries in London? Oh I don't want to go," she pouted

"Hey now, as you said, this is only temporary. You'll see that it will pass quickly," he tried to cheer her up

"Zoe, I'm so jealous, you'll have to tell me everything!" Rose added

"Deal. We will skype every week. I promise," they hugged.

She said her goodbyes to the rest; Annabeth, George, Brick. Even Lemon was there.

"So, Zoe Hart. Should we expect another email from you?"

"Lemon!" Lavon, George and Annabeth shouted together

"It's okay, guys. I deserve this. No, Lemon, no e-mails this time. I'm coming back." Zoe said with confidence.

It became late and everyone started to go home

"I hope I'm not late!" The door opened quickly and Vivian came in "Sorry, I was waiting for my ex to come and get Harley. But I'm here now"

"Hey cousin, i was just about to go home but I'm glad you made it"

"Where is Wade?" Lavon asked her

"He wanted to be here but he's at the Rammer Jammer. He said that they are busy and he can't get out. anyway, I don't want to keep you here," Vivian hugged her "keep in touch with me. I'll be waiting for you when you get back, we have a wedding to plan, how exciting! "

"Give my love to all the Wilkes's ,wherever they are"

"I will. Bye cousin" Vivian left.

"Okay Lavon, I'll see you in the morning. Thank you for taking me to the airport. You're the best," she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

"No one else in the world I'd rather do it for." They hugged and walked toward the door

"Oh, and Zoe," he said before she could get out, "I'm sure he wanted to be here ... maybe you'll get to say goodbye to him in the morning"

"Yeah, maybe," she sighed and smiled a half smile.

 **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

This night was no different from previous ones. For hours she fidgeted in bed, trying to suppress her thoughts. "Why is it so quiet?" She wondered. Where are the crickets tonight? Mosquitoes? Frogs? Something? She's reached the point that she couldn't imagine a night without them. She tried everything, read a book, watch TV, anything she could think of to help her sleep. "Stupid Wade" she muttered. "Wait, what?" She thought to herself. There is no point in ignoring it, it bothered her that he didn't come to say goodbye. She thought they were in a good place again, or so. He was with Vivian, he and Joel became friends. She hated the fact that it bothered her so much. She decided to go out for some air. Her thoughts almost strangled her. She got out of bed, put on a sweater, shoes and stepped out.

The lights were on at the gate house, it was the first thing she noticed.

"No, don't go there," she told herself. She went downstairs and while debating the next step it seems that the decision has already been made for her. She saw him sitting by the lake. She took a deep breath.

"rough night?" She sat down next to him. He tensed.

She noticed a six pack of beer by his side, three empty bottles already, the fourth in his hand.

"Sorry I missed your party," he gave her one bottle as if it was a kind gesture and his way of apologizing. They clinked botteles.

What are you doing out here, anyway? "He asked after a few moments, her eyes closed

"I couldn't sleep," he nodded

"So ... London, huh?" He took a gulp

"Yup..."

"I wonder how the British people are going to react to the New York doctor with short shorts, high heels, that can't stop babbling" She rolled her eyes

"Yeah, well, most of the time it's cold over there so I don't know about the shorts, but with everything else they'll just have to get used to. Exactly like I made y'all get used to it" she smiled proudly.

"That you did" They gave a quick glance at each other.

"So what are you going to do there while Shakespeare's busy doing his Hollywood thing?"

"Oh, God, I have no idea. You know I can't work there"

"Well, I feel sorry for all the people you're going to try to diagnose" the corner of his mouth lifted and she hit his arm playfully.

"You should get a hobby, something you always wanted to do and didn't have time. And if it doesn't work ... video games"

"Obviously, video games is your answer to everything," she laughed

"What can I say Doc, I'm a simple man"

"Well, if it makes you happy," she smiled and lowered her head. He obsereved her. They sat in silence for what seemed like eternity when the only sounds in the background were the crickets

"I'm going to miss this," She gazed into the distance

"miss what, snakes in the lake?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No, silly," she pushed him lightly, "this. Everything" He didn't know how to react to it so he just nodded.

"I don't want to leave"

"So don't"

"You make it sound so easy"

"It is"

Silence took over again.

"You know I'm coming back, right?"

He scoffed, "No offense Doc, that's not my problem anymore" He sipped the last drop of his fourth bottle.

It caught her off guard. She sighed heavily

"I never meant to hurt you" she whispered

He turned his head towards her

"Water under the bridge"

She felt uncomfortable with the way he looked at her

"Still. It was important for me that you know"

"Trying to soothe your conscience, Doc?"

"What? What's your problem?"

"you're the one who decided to raise this issue."

"And clearly that was wrong," she hissed "you're drunk"

"maybe"

She sighed "I was just trying to make things all right. But I have no reason to bother as it seems" She stood up and tidied her clothes, she picked up her bottle and was about to go

"Yes, run away. It seems that is your real talent," he said bitterly

"that is not fair Wade" Her eyes filled with tears

"No, that is just life, Zoe"

So much for falling asleep tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews!  
Like many of you, I always wanted to see them really talk about everything. We barely got it in the show. The last season was a little better in that aspect, but still it wasn't enough. I promise to have them talk about it later in this story.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

She slept barely two hours at night. With eyes red from crying, she got up and packed her last belongings. Her flight takes off in two hours. She and Joel were to meet in Los Angeles. He still needs to finish the current movie so they will stay there for a month and then fly off to London together.

"Morning Lavon, I need coffee urgently, I couldn't sleep at night and my head is exploding," she exclaimed as she entered the kitchen before she froze. Wade was sitting by the counter. She avoided eye contact; she went to pull out a mug. "I just came to take some coffee"

"Zoe Wait" he almost begged. "Look, I shouldn't have said what I said. I was drunk"

"Yes, and the truth just poured out of your mouth" she turned her back to him again.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I'm sorry would be a good start"

He ran his hand through his hair

"Seriously? She hissed

She leaned against the other side of the counter with her arms crossed. "What else?"

"What else what?" He asked with a note of desperation in his voice

"What else do you want to say to me you didn't say yet? Let's open it all. You started yesterday, I won't stop you"

"Zoe"

"Zoe What? Say it, Wade. Say whatever is on your mind" she sounded angry

"It doesn't matter anymore"

"It does to me"

"Well, maybe I don't want to. There's no point. We moved on"

"Right"

"Fine, I'm sorry about yesterday. Alright? I don't want to talk anymore"

"And here I thought we were friends. Friends talk"

"Friends" he emphasized the word as if the thought of it disgusted him, like an insult. "We're never going to be friends, Zoe. Too much history. "

They looked at each other, waiting for the other to speak. He waited to hear what she has to say. She was trying to decide how far she wanted to take it. Trying to decide if she could handle where things are going.

"Do you still love me?" She blurted before she could stop herself. Her eyes widened. She didn't know why she said it.

The bluntness of her question shocked him. She said it as if it were the easiest question in the world. His hands tightened into fists and he let out a harsh breath. He gave her a last look and slammed the door.

"What just happened here?" Just then Lavon went down to the kitchen

"I think I just had my last goodbye…" she covered her eyes with her hands

He narrowed his eyes and didn't understand but he didn't ask beyond. He knew she would tell him eventually.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Hours later he was sitting on the couch, drinking, trying to suppress the events of the last two days when there was a loud banging at the door.

"Wade Kinsella, unless you are dead, I demand that you open the door immediately!"

"Leave me alone, Lemon"

"Cute. You already know that there is no way I'm moving from here until you talk to me"

He sighed and got up to open the door. "What?" He asked irritably

"Well, you're alive. This is a good start"

He ignored her and sat down again. She sat beside him.

"Wanda tried to reach you for several hours and when you didn't answer, she called me. What happened?"

"Why do you think something has happened?" He hissed and took another sip

"The way you look and everything that's going around here," she pointed to the room

"Well, don't worry, everything will return to normal in the coming hours"

She looked at him confused but soon understood what he meant.

"So, what's the latest with Zoe Hart?"

"How do I know?"

"Wade Kinsella!"

He sighed, "We had a fight. Or not really a fight, I'm not sure what it was. But somehow I snapped at her and accused her for always running away and she asked me if I still love her"

Lemon closed her eyes for a few seconds. "Oh my god, you two are so stupid," she stood up. "Go clean yourself and go to work. They need you," she went to the door "And Wade. Things have been well for you lately. Forget Zoe Hart" she was out and the wind she left behind her caused a door slam.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Zoe Hart"

She was putting her luggage in Lavon's car when she heard quick footsteps behind her.

"Lemon" Zoe turned around

"I'll say it once and I hope you listen to me. Leave Wade alone. He suffered enough during the summer and now he managed to get to back to himself. So please, don't try to sabotage it." She paused for a moment to make sure that Zoe listens to her. "And enough with your unnecessary questions"

"Lemon"

"Spare it. Have a good trip," she walked away while Lavon approached his car

"What happened now?"

She sighed, "I'll explain in the way. Let's go"

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Wow"

"Yup, that was my reaction exactly"

"And ...?"

"I told him I'll be back in three months. And you already know the rest"

"I can't believe none of you told me anything. That explains so many things that have happened here in the summer ..."

"Yeah, well…"

"Oh, man, and then you came back with Joel. Poor Wade," he said suddenly. She scowled

"That's not everything…" She played with her fingers nervously "um, this morning… I asked him if he still loves me"

"You did what!?"

"Stop, I know. I don't know what got into me. How bad is it?" She put her hands on her face

"Why did you ask him that? What answer did you expect to get?"

"I don't know, it just came out"

"Big Z, I don't know what else had happened between you two yesterday, but I think you're taking it too far"

"I just ... he annoyed me so mad!"

"And usually when people annoy you, you ask them if they love you?" He raised an eyebrow

"Doesn't matter, I didn't get an answer"

"Did you expect an answer? Why do you care? You're with Joel. You love Joel.  
You love Joel, right?"

"Yes, yes, of course," she said dismissively.

"And Wade has something good going for him with Vivian."

"I know"

"So? I am team Zoe, but you are playing a dangerous game here"

"Lavon, you are exaggerating, it was a mistake, that's it"

"I wouldn't want to see you mess with his head again ... he deserves better than that"

"What? I'm with Joel. I'm happy with Joel. We're getting married in case you missed."

"Okay"

They continued their way to the airport in silence. Her last conversations with him ran in her head. She didn't want to admit it, but she really hurt him. This realization seeped in and made her stomach turn over. It was never her intention. She tried to ignore the hollow pit in her stomach but she couldn't, she somehow knew it wasn't going to disappear

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The next morning, Wade woke up as usual and went to Lavon's house. He entered and saw him busy preparing pancakes.

"What's with all this food?"

The counter was full of all kinds of pastries, fruit and all the breakfast food you could think of. It's not that it was very unusual to see such quantities of food at Lavon's kitchen but Wade knew it was either Lavon was waiting for a lot of people, or he simply had to eat his feelings. The second option was more likely.

"Oh, you know" he muttered "it's going to be silent here… for an unknown time. So…" It was his way of saying that Zoe is no longer there. After he talked with both of them yesterday he thought it is best not to mention anything specifically. Wade nodded.

"So she really left, huh?" He took a muffin and sat down.

"Why wouldn't she? It's not like something or someone tried to prevent her from leaving ..."

Wade raised his eyes and looked at him. Then he realized, "You know," he said bitterly

"Know what?" He knew exactly what Wade meant

"She told you"

"Yes, she did. I can't say that it surprised me completely, but it certainly made me realize a few things"

"Well, good for you"

"Come on, man"

"What?" He snapped

"Look, I know you with Vivian now, and I think it's great but"

"We broke up" Wade interrupted

"Wait, what? When? How? When we talked yesterday ..."

"It was after. We met later. Her ex wants her back"

"And you just ... you let her go?" Lavon studied him

"It's best for the kid. Besides, she loves him still"

Lavon knew that there was more than that, he felt that there was something Wade didn't say, but he didn't push him.

"So ... are you all right?"

"I will be"

He really believed in it.


	4. Chapter 4

This morning wasn't much different than the previous ones. She always woke up at around 9-10 am. She began the day with breakfast at the hotel and then continued according to plan. Sometimes she met with some friends from med school she found were living there. She was hearing all their stories about the crazy hours they spent in hospitals, some as surgeons and some as private doctors. It was in these moments that she was so happy about where life took her. Her friends, however, had a hard time understanding the choices she made. Yes, she loved medicine. It was her destiny, to be a doctor. But what up until 3-4 years ago sounded like the worst thing that could have happened, turned out to be the greatest blessing, the best thing that happened to her. Being a family doctor in Bluebell undoubtedly changed her. It wasn't that she completely rejected the idea of working again as a surgeon at some point. But for now that was the right thing to do. The right place for her. "I can't believe that I won't be able to practice medicine in the coming year," she thought to herself.

Other days she spent wandering around the city, doing shopping. But at some point it became boring.

One day, she met with a friend from med-school, Amanda, who offered to help her find a wedding dress. "It will be fun," she thought to herself. But for some reason, she could not bring herself to try on even one dress. She always made excuses. "Not my style", "too expensive", "don't like the designer". After passing through 7 stores, Amanda gave up. "Zoe, I don't understand you. Trying on wedding dresses was one of the favorite parts for me when I got married," she tried to persuade her for the last time.

"I know, I just haven't seen anything that I really liked. You know what, I think I will have more luck in London" she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince here.

When she returned to the hotel later, Joel was there. Surprisingly, he finished work early and waited for her.

"Hey, how was your day?" He asked. She sat on the bed beside him.

"Good. I met Amanda, did some shopping," she pointed to the bags that were placed at the door

"You know, I think it's time for you and I to go out shopping together"

She frowned, "Really? I thought you hate shopping"

"Well, we have something specific to buy that I must be a part of " he said as he took her hand, touching the place on her finger where the ring should be, "So what you're saying, want to go buy an engagement ring at last?"

"Yeah, let's do it," she kissed him.

But here she is today, two weeks after that evening, three weeks after they arrived in Los Angeles, and still, no engagement ring. What really surprised her, she didn't care. Somehow she always turned him down when he tried to suggest they go to buy it. It was always something different, one time she was too tired, other time she wasn't feeling good or wanted to stay at the room watch some TV show.

Today she decided to change the atmosphere a little. She was looking for some peace, something she missed terribly in recent weeks. She decided to go to the beach.

Smeared with sunscreen and with sunglasses covering her eyes she put a towel on the sand and lay down on it. "That's nice," she thought.

"Ouch," she put her hand on her head. There were some guys who were playing nearby. One of them threw a ball that accidentally hit her head. She turned to see who it was and saw a man about age 20, blonde and well built. He approached her quickly, "Hey, I'm sorry!"

"It's all right, just… pay attention next time ..." She smiled gently

"I promise. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Oh, um… I have a boyfriend. but thanks for the offer"

"Well, if you change your mind, I'm a bartender at the ace hotel, I promise you a drink on the house," he winked at her and left.

Great. Just when she thought she was able to calm down and refrain from thinking it had to happen. And of course it had to be a bartender. Not that there's anything wrong with that, except that it reminds her of a certain person she was trying to forget. Well, it's not that it really worked, right? In recent weeks, she thought of him every day. Their recent conversations were particularly prominent. She was still trying to figure out what caused her to ask that question. Why did it matter at all? Her Thoughts took her a year or two back, another period when it seemed that a doctor and a bartender could do it. Could be a couple. a really good couple. So many things have happened since then. He is no longer a bartender, he is now the owner. He fulfilled his dream. Despite everything, she was really proud of him. She was trying to remember how exactly they got to this place. What was her part in the events leading to the ... no. She doesn't want to remember this moment, that particular moment that made everything go down the drain.

No, she did not want to think about it at all. She picked up her phone and looked through the contacts. She found the name she was looking for and called.

"Hello?"

"Huh ... Lemon?"

"Zoe Hart"

"What ... what are you doing with Lavon's phone?"

"He's busy at the moment with some important Fillmore-related issues"

"Oh. Okay ... So ...could you please tell him I called"

"Is that all? How's life in London?"

"I'm not in London yet, Lemon. I will be there next week. I'm still in LA."

"Good for you."

"How is everyone?"

"Everyone is fine. Lavon is fine, Annabeth is fine, George is fine, Daddy is fine, everyone's fine."

"Good, I'm glad" she stammered, "Give my regards to everyone"

"I will"

"Um, thanks," she almost whispered,

"Zoe"

"Yes?"

"He's fine too."

"What?" She tried not to give anything away in her voice. It wasn't working

Lemon giggled "Bye Zoe"

She sighed heavily and put her head on the towel.

"What is wrong with me ...? She asked herself.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Back in Bluebell, things went on as usual.

Lemon and Lavon tried their best to take care of Wade, he in turn took care to reassure them and say everything is fine. He spent most of his time at work. In the evenings he would sometimes sit with Lavon and George, drinking and playing video games

One day Lemon discovered that the famous food blogger, Walter Wallen was in the area and did everything she could to locate him and get him to write a review about Fancies. She asked Wade to come with her and after a day filled with ups and downs, both were able to get him to write a review about Fancies and the Rammer Jammer.

The impact of the review was felt in the next few weeks, the Rammer Jammer was packed with people every night, and business flourished. Contrary to what happened in the summer, Wade looked fine and behaved normally. Still, Lemon would not leave him alone, constantly trying to make him talk. But she failed.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Zoe and Joel sat in the airport waiting for their flight to London. When the time to board the plane came, Joel got up and picked up his bag from the floor. Zoe continued to sit and stare into the air.

"Zoe, Honey?"

"Mmm?"

He smiled, "Come on, they called us to board the plane"

She closed her eyes for a few seconds that felt like an eternity.

"Joel" She faced him and took one of his hands in her hand, "I can't"

"You can't?"

"I'm sorry, I can't come with you" Tears filled her eyes.

He looked at her a long time without saying a word.

"I was wondering when you would tell me"

"What?" She asked through tears

"Zoe ... At first I tried to ignore the signs ... but when you kept postponing the wedding arrangements and buying the engagement ring, it was too much. Then I realized"

She dropped her head down. "I'm sorry. Even though everything is complicated in Bluebell, it is still my home. It's where my heart is. Where I belong"

He squeezed her hand.

There was another call for the passengers to board the plane

He sighed. He pulled her into a hug and said goodbye to her.

"Hey Zoe… tell Wade I said hi"

She seemed surprised and turned pale

"Yes, I know"

"I'm sorry" She nodded

"Bye Zoe"

"Bye, Joel"

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Fortunately, she managed to get a ticket to fly out to mobile in two hours.

She made all the necessary arrangements to get her luggage back and waited for the plane.

She picked up her phone and dialed

"Lavon?" She sniffled

"Big Z? Is Everything OK? Are you crying?"

"Yes, no... I'm coming back... I land in mobile at 12am. Can you pick me up?"

"Yes, sure. I'll be there," he didn't ask questions. He knew there will be enough time for that later

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Thank you Lavon. I don't know what I'd do without you," Lavon picked her up from the airport. They were in his car, on the way back to Bluebell.

"I'm just glad to have you here again" he stretched his hand towards her and rubbed her back

"You know, I'm at peace with the decision I took. I just can't help but feel empty. I mean, I, I could have gone to London, But I chose not to. We could be together right now. But I just couldn't. It was me." They arrived to the plantation. She got out of the car, her head facing the gate house. She noticed the lights were off.

She sighed, "What if I made the biggest mistake of my life and let the right person just walk away forever?"

"Yeah, I think about that every day" he helped her take her luggage inside.

Zoe hugged him "we'll be okay" she whispered. He nodded. "Good night Lavon"

"Good Night Zoe. Welcome home"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all the reviews, they make me so happy.**

 **I love reading everyone's thoughts. So keep them coming :)**

 **Next chapter is half written already so hopefully I'll post it soon.**

 **Just a reminder, English is not my language so sorry for my mistakes.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

She walked into the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

LAVON!" She shouted, "You better get here immediately!""

"Where is the fire, Big Z?" He came down from the top floor amused but as soon as he saw her standing with her arms crossed and a frown, his face changed. "What happened?" He asked anxiously

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"tell you what?"

"Wade"

"Oh"

"Yes, oh. You could've called me. And yesterday! You could have said something"

"I'm sorry, Zoe, I didn't think…"

"How did this happen? When? I want to know everything!"

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **Earlier in the day** **...**

 _It was 10 am and she just woke up. For the first time in a month she felt a sense of relief. She was back home. It's true that not everything was perfect, or even close. Things were complicated and she didn't even know where to start to fix everything, but the fact that she was in Bluebell was the first step in the right direction for her_ _._

 _She decided to start the day visiting the practice. She wanted to clear things up with Brick and if necessary she was also willing to beg for him to hire her again_ _._

 _When she got there it was relatively empty. Only people there were Brick and Annabeth and they were very surprised to see her. She told them briefly that she and Joel separated, but didn't elaborate. She herself didn't have the chance to process the recent events and she didn't feel comfortable talking about everything yet. Annabeth was surprised that Zoe looked fine, but she said nothing. They exchanged a few more words and agreed to meet later_ _._

 _Her next stop was the Rammer Jammer. She felt very nervous before entering, her fingers tingled and her heart pounded faster_ _._

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 _It was 5 pm and she sat at a table in the corner. With a glass of wine in her hand, her gaze kept moving from the bar to the front door. Annabeth had just walked into the bar, she noticed her from afar_ _._

 _"_ _Wanda, how long she had been sitting like that?" She asked quietly_

 _"_ _For several hours ..." She sighed, "She must think of Joel ... so sad everything that happened ... We are all really pleased she's back but we are still in shock. I wonder what happened to them.._ _."_

 _"_ _it's not our business, she will tell if she wants. In the meantime, let's give her some space. It is still fresh and probably hard for her_ _"_

 _"_ _Oh, yes, don't worry, I already made sure everyone stayed away ... Poor thing"_

 _"_ _Yes, poor thing ..." Annabeth muttered to herself_

 _Annabeth decided to go to Zoe_ _._

 _"_ _Hi sweetie_ _"_

 _"_ _Hi, AB," Zoe replied with a half-smile. Annabeth sat next to her_

 _"_ _Are you okay_ _?"_

 _"_ _Yes ..." She took a deep breath_

 _"_ _you didn't know, right ..?" Annabeth put her hand on Zoe's hand_

 _Zoe responded quickly, "No, I had no idea_ _"_

 _"_ _Yeah, well, it took us by surprise, it happened really fast_ _..."_

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So after Wade and Vivian broke up" He tried to complete the sentence but she cut him off

"Wait, what ?" She waved her hands and began pacing incessantly

"Naw, naw, naw, don't tell me you don't know this! She's your cousin, don't you talk!?"

"OMG OMG. I had no idea. Why didn't you call to tell me?"

"Come on, Big Z, I'm your best friend, but I'm not your girlfriend! Besides, how should I know you wanted to know it?"

She gave him a stern look and went back to sit down.

"Why did they break up?"

"She went back to her husband. But you know Wade, he isn't a person who shares so... I'm sure there's more to it"

"more? What more? What do you think it is?" She tried to sound nonchalant, but without success

"I don't know. I'm not sure his heart was really there"

"You think? Why?" She pressed

"Yes," he paused, "Wait, Big Z, you're not…"

"What? No. I'm just asking. It's interesting," she dismissed the question

"Uh huh " He knows her better than that but he chose not to say anything more about the subject

"Anyway," he continued, "He was in a bad place, one day, Lemon heard that a famous food blogger who writes reviews of restaurants was in the area and she really wanted him to write a review about Fancies. Lemon and Wade found him and managed to get him to write a review about Fancies the Rammer Jammer. They got a really good review and it really helped business"

"that is great"

"Yes, it is. The other day someone from a group of investors who had heard about the place came down here and offered Wade to join the management at headquarters and franchise the Rammer Jammer. The first bar will be in Atlanta. And that's the story. He left two days ago to Atlanta"

"Wow. This is amazing." She smiled

"Yes, it's good for him. He deserves something good to happen to him"

"For how long did he leave?" She rubbed her hands nervously

"I'm not sure. We think that for several months at least. I think he doesn't know himself.

"Wow ..."

"Yes. Your vocabulary is impressive," he chuckled.

"I think I'll go home now. Long day," she murmured

"Call him," he said, and she stopped in her tracks. She thought for a few seconds

"Call him and say what?"

"I don't know, but you clearly have something to say" He raised an eyebrow

"well clearly you have a vivid imagination"

"Ha ha"

"Good night Lavon"

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

She was in bed and couldn't sleep. She was holding her phone in her hands. She turned it over every few minutes looking at the name. She wondered what to do. She wanted to talk to him. There were so many things she wanted to say. She wanted to congratulate him and tell him herself that she was really proud of him, she wanted ... but she couldn't find the courage.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next day was spent at work. She decided it was the right thing to do to escape from her own thoughts.

And it worked. The day went pretty fast. The evening came and she was already prepared to go home when she received a frantic phone call from Tom Long. Crazy Earl fell into a hole and was wounded in the leg. She quickly packed her things and ran toward his house. Fortunately for Earl, she came quickly and was able to treat it and prevent more serious damage. The injury wasn't easy and she knew he would have to walk on crutches for some time but it could've been worse. Ambulance took him and she went with them to the hospital.

There was still one last thing to do. Something she tried to avoid doing all night ... she had to call Wade to let him know. She tried several times to reach him but the calls went straight to his voice mail. For the fifth time she decided to leave a message. "Uh ... Hey, it's me ... Zoe," she stammered, "Um ... your father was injured. He's fine, but he will have to stay in hospital a few days. You are probably wondering how I know ... um ... I came back... so ... I just wanted to update you. Bye "She hung up and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

A few hours later, when she was home, she decided to try again. Yet all her calls went directly to voicemail. She wondered if he didn't answer everyone or her. He had her number so he knew it's her.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When she awoke in the morning the first thing she did was check her phone messages, but nothing.

She went to the hospital to check that everything is OK. Earl was delighted to see her. She was glad he didn't ask her questions. She wouldn't know how to answer them. He told her that he hadn't been drinking for several months and that he was on the way to a date when the accident happened. She in turn encouraged him to continue on this path and promised to speak for him with May. For the rest of the day she was at the practice, when every few hours she tried to reach Wade. But he didn't answer.

When she returned home in the evening she was really annoyed. She poured herself a glass of wine and sat on the couch. "How can it be that for almost a whole day he doesn't answer," she thought to herself. Now she was sure she was the only one he didn't answer. For two hours she sat in front of the TV with a bottle of wine that was lying next to her. At some point the wine affected her and she got a little drunken, feelings of anger and nerves filled her. She picked up the phone and dialed.

 **"** **Hey ya'll, you've reached Wade. Leave a message and I'll get back to you** **"**

 **Beep** **.**

"Leave a message and I'll get back to you? I left about 20 messages at least," she mumbled into the phone

"Maybe if you bother to listen to one of them you will understand that you need to call. If not me, at least your dad, who is now at the hospital. Or Brick or any other person who can tell you this, because I think I'm the only one you don't want to talk to" she was blathering away something not clear ... "So please call," she managed to say before the message was interrupted by the sound of beep.

"Ugh! Stupid Wade" She threw the phone across the room. Then it exploded. Tears filled her eyes and began to fall down her cheeks. Soon she found herself lying in bed crying, her makeup smeared on her face, "I hate you. Why don't you answer"? After a while she calmed down. She barely got off the couch and went to pick up her phone off the floor.

She returned to sit down and stared. His name was written on the screen next to a picture of him she took about two years ago, even before they were together. Before she knew what was happening, her fingers as if moved by themselves, pressed the dial button

 **"** **Hey ya'll, you've reached Wade. Leave a message and I'll get back to you** **"**

 **Beep** **.**

She heard his voice and a single tear made its way down on her face

"I miss you" she almost whispered, her voice cracking, "and I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to. But I do"


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys are wonderful. Thank you for all the reviews. Please keep them coming, they help a lot!**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

Morning came and it was hard to keep her eyes open. Her head was pounding. She found herself stretched on the couch. She pushed her head to her right and saw an empty wine bottle on the floor. The cup was on the table. Her phone was also lying on the floor. "Coffee," was all she managed to mumble. After she made herself a cup she sat on the bed, trying to remember what happened last night. "Oh, God. What have I done ...?"

After a quick shower, she dressed and set off to the hospital

When she got there Earl was already awake.

"Hello pretty doctor" he was happy to see her

"Good morning, Earl. How are you feeling this morning?" She approached the bed

"I'm fine, I can't wait to go home"

"I know. We'll have to find someone to help you a little bit the first few days," she said while checking his medical report

"Yes, that's what my son said"

"Your son?" She raised her head quickly

"Yes"

"Jesse?" She questioned

"Jesse? Wade"

"Wade" she repeated

"Yes, Wade" He said amused

"He called you?"

"Called? He was here last night ... I was lucky, he kept me company when I couldn't sleep"

"He was here. In this room. Last night." She said it slowly and repeated this several times in her head

"Are you okay?" He frowned, "I thought he spoke to you. He said he found out because of you. He drove all the way here but had to go because he has some very important meetings today. He said he would try to come again soon"

"Okay ..." She was speechless. "I'll go now ... I'll see you soon"

She picked up her bag and raced away

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

She didn't know what she was feeling at that moment. Insult? Anger? Both?

He was there, didn't even bother to inform her or send a text saying "Hey, I got your message." Something.

Half an hour later she was already back in the plantation.

"Lavon, I need your car. With the navigator. Don't ask questions, I'm taking it and you cannot stop me" She burst into the kitchen

"Big Z. is everything alright?"

"I said no questions. Thanks, I owe you" She took the key and left.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Why do you think I'll give it to you?" Lemon asked her as she arranged dishes at the restaurant.

"Very simple. You give me details or I get them myself. But then it will be dirty. You can save it for the both of us" Zoe stood in front of her and blocked her way

"I don't know where you think you are, but you're not intimidating me"

"look, Lemon, I'm not giving up this time. Do me a favor and give it to me now. Please." Zoe tried to soften her words. She needed lemon on her side this time.

"Zoe Hart, I must say, I'm kind of proud of you. First time I see you going to fight for something that's important to you"

"I don't know what you're talking about" she dismissed her words"

"Yeah, I bet you don't" she smiled.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

That's it. She's going to do it. She decided that she would go and confront him.  
The ride was exhausting. About 6 hours of constant thoughts. How dare he do that?  
Yes, the last time they saw each other it didn't end so well, but there were far worse things that happened in the past. What, was it so difficult to send a message? Sneak in late at night and then run away? "Coward" she hissed. She had no idea what she was going to tell him. She didn't have time to plan, but she knew she had to say something, and if he wasn't going to answer her phone calls then there is only one way to solve it...

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It was 10 pm when she arrived. She used Lemon's directions and arrived to the place. Atlanta's Rammer Jammer. She entered tentatively and with her eyes began to scan the area. She approached the bar, trying to find him.

"Did you lose something?" she heard a rough voice calling her. It was the bartender.

"Huh ... actually, yes. Wade Kinsella, you know where I can find him?"

"He should be here in about an hour. Can I help?" He looked her

"No, thanks. I'll just sit in the meantime. Is there a less noisy spot here? I'm exhausted"

"The table there," he pointed to the other side of the bar "It's quieter there"

"Thank you," she smiled and walked over to the table.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey Boss"

"Stop calling me that, Ben" Wade came inside and went straight to the bar

"Someone is looking for you"

"Me?" Wade wrinkled his nose. "I don't know people here"

Ben pointed to the table where Zoe sat.

Wade froze. "What ..." He took a deep breath and swallowed. He stared at her for a split second before she looked up suddenly. They locked stares for a few seconds until he began to approach her direction

"You're alive" she said sternly

"Zoe"

"Don't. Stop. Now it's my turn to talk"

"Okay, but not here. Come on," he motioned her to follow him to the back office.

They went into the office and closed the door behind them.

He went around the table, hands in his pockets, refusing to look her in the eye.

She stood in front of him; he noticed that she was angry. Or hurt. He didn't know exactly what it was and it unnerved him a little.

"Why didn't you answer me?"

"I wanted to, but" she interrupted

"You could've sent a text. Letter. Postcard"

"Zoe"

What am I doing here you ask? I called so many times; I sent so many messages and nothing. So imagine my feeling this morning when I visited your father and I discovered that you were there. Then of course you run away like a coward. What is it? What did I do that you didn't want to see me? You wouldn't even send a text. I know we went through a lot, but this?"

She took a deep breath and continued

"I didn't want us to be like that ..." She paused for a few moments and they stared at each other.

"I came to fix it" she stated

"Fix what, Zoe? There is nothing to fix"

All that went through her mind is whether he heard her last message from last night or not. If so, he showed no signs.

"I don't believe you" she said

"That's your right. But that is the situation"

"Denial is not a good look on you," she said bitterly

His jaw tightened. He closed his eyes and tried not to answer.

"I don't want to do it here, I'm working. Where are you staying, I will come later"

Suddenly she paused to think. It's the middle of the night, after driving for a few hours she was exhausted and she had no idea where she was going to stay.

"Huh ... I still don't know ... didn't have time to figure it out yet"

He shook his head and rubbed his neck. After a few seconds he recovered, he took a piece of paper from the table and scribbled something on it. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys. He reached for her

"Take it. It's the address and keys. I'll be there another two hours or so"

"What is this place?"

"My apartment"

Her eyes widened for a moment but she nodded and went her way.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He entered the apartment quietly. She was curled on the sofa, her shoes thrown on the floor.

Her eyes were closed. He stood there and looked at her. He studied her hair, brown like chocolate, spread on her shoulders softly. Her lips slightly open and he could hear her breathing.

She's here and they need to talk, he thought to himself. She came here for him so he knew she wasn't going to give up and it made him nervous. He had nothing to say to her. "Liar" he thought to himself. There are so many things he wanted to say, but what's the point now?

Everything is so complicated when it comes to their emotions. They are so unable to express them properly without killing each other in the process. As soon as he feels he's back on track, she comes and turns his world again.

"Hey ..." he said quietly.

"Hey ..." She tried to smile but failed

"Look, it was a long day for both of us. We're tired ... we'll talk about it tomorrow? What are your plans?"

"I think we already made it clear that I don't have a plan"

"Okay then"

"Okay" She began to put her shoes back on her feet

"What are you doing?" He asked

"Well, I thought we agreed to talk in the morning"

"And where do you think you're going exactly at this hour?" He asked, almost amused

"Um, I'll think of something"

"Don't be stupid, you're staying here. There is an extra bedroom" He pointed toward a door, "and the bathroom is over there"

"Are you sure?" She was hesitant

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm not working tomorrow so there will be plenty of time to talk ..."

"Okay..." she was about to go to the room when she remembered  
"Um... I don't have anything to sleep in" She bit her lip

"My room is over there. You can take whatever you want"

"Thank you," she almost whispered and went over

He sat down on the couch and leaned his head back. Something in him just wouldn't let her go. He probably should have, but again, he just couldn't do it.

He exhaled and put his hands on his head.

"This is not good ..."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys,  
thank you so much for sticking with the story. I love writing it.  
I have exams next week, but I'll update as soon as possible.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Good morning"

She left the room and saw him sitting on the sofa, his legs stretched out on the table and a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Good morning. There is coffee in the kitchen," he looked at her going into his house, barefoot, wearing one of his shirts. Maybe in another situation it would have pleased him, but now …

She helped herself to a cup and went to sit on the couch next to him. They sat in silence for a moment.

"What are you doing here Zoe?"

"You know what I'm doing here".

"No, what are you really doing here?"

Then it clicked, he heard the message.

"you heard the message" She couldn't look at him. It was more of a statement than a question.

He shifted uncomfortably. "Yes"

"Joel and I are not together. I left him"

"I heard"

"You're not going to make it easy on me, huh?"

He shrugged

"You broke up with Vivian"

"Yes, I know, I was there" he said calmly

"Why?"

"I'm sure Lavon had told you"

"I want to hear your side"

"Nothing new. The kid's dad wanted her back. It's what's best for them"

"And what about you?"

"What about me? I'm fine"

She nodded.

"We had fun together. But it's not like she was the love of my life" it just slipped from his mouth. He didn't know why he said it

"Why are you here Zoe?" he didn't let go

"I want to fix this. Us"

"Zoe, there is no us anymore"

"It is not true, and you know it"

"All I know is that I'm not going that way again. I'm sorry, I can't"

She took a deep breath. She waited a long time to say it, and decided it was now or never. He looked at her as if he could see the storm that occurred in her head.

"Wade ... I ..."

"Don't say it"

"Don't say what?"

"Just ... whatever you wanted to say. Please don't say that," he pleaded

She looked at him in amazement. Her eyes began to fill with tears, she tried to hide it

"Maybe you were right. There's nothing more to fix" She went into the kitchen and put the glass in the sink. She walked into the room and closed the door behind her.

He stayed in the living room, closed his eyes and thought about the last few minutes. She was about to say it, he knew it. He also knew that it took a lot from her. But he wasn't ready to hear it. Hearing her say it would have made everything more real. It would force him to deal with it. He couldn't. Not when she's in his apartment, and they were away from everything. Not when she wore his clothes.

A few minutes after she interrupted his thoughts as she left the room, dressed in her clothes and her purse in her hand. She went to the door

"Running away again?"

"Don't. Stop" She turned to him with a frown

"Why? I thought you came here to talk. So let's talk" He got up from the couch and approached her

"I chased you once. I don't think I will do it again"

"Go to hell, Wade"

"No thank you, already been there" he continued to stand close

"Fine. I'm going now. Go on and ignore the truth"

"The truth? You want to know the truth? What truth exactly? Mine or yours? The way I remember it, I came after you and I told you I loved you. And you, what did you in return? You ran away. Disappeared"

Her hands were clenched, tears in her eyes

"You hurt me. You hurt me so much. I had to stay away. "If I had stayed, we'd get back together that night". The memories from this night were fresh in her head. It was after the high school prom, she was drunk, that's right. But she knew exactly what she was doing. She chose to deny it for a long time but she there's no point anymore.

"What was wrong with that?"

"We were not ready," she said in a thick voice. "It would have ended worse," she whispered

"Worse than now?" He said bitterly

"I needed it, Wade" She tried to explain

"And I understand that. And part of me will always hate myself for hurting you so bad. And I completely understand that you needed some distance. But then the email ... God, Zoe, you have no idea ..." He turned back and sat down on the couch

"And above all, you returned with a boyfriend ... I don't know ... you could at least call. Send a text message ..." He almost whispered

"I guess it's mutual, we are not very good at sending messages ..." She tried to soften the atmosphere

He chuckled bitterly. She sat down on the couch next to him. Both were staring silently into the air.

"I wrote you letters"

He raised an eyebrow "I didn't get anything"

"I didn't say that I sent them ..."

He nodded. Silence filled the air again

"So. Did you mean it…? When you came after me, when you told me-"

"Of course I meant it"

They held eye contact

"What about now?" She asked tentatively, afraid of the answer and what it might do to her

He nodded positively.

"Wade, I'

"I know," he interrupted. "But that doesn't change the fact that I can't ..." he said gently

"Why is it always so hard for us?"

He didn't answer. He didn't know how. Instead, he sat back, feeling as if all his force was sucked from him and disappeared.

"I don't think you would do something to hurt me on purpose, Zoe'

"I don't think you would, either"

She hoped he'd give her some kind of sign. Something, give her hope. But he couldn't do it. He wanted her, he had no doubt. But he couldn't afford to get hurt again.

"I'll go now," she rose from the couch

"No, stay," it was as if his heart was talking, ignoring all orders from the head. "When will you have the opportunity to be in Atlanta? And I don't have to go to work, we can do something.

And she agreed.

The rest of the day they spent on trips around the city. She was happy to stay; she had to get a bit of a break from Bluebell. Everyone wanted to know what happened to Joel, everyone kept asking questions and it was necessary for her to get some peace. She just did not think that she will achieve it with Wade ... the atmosphere between them has shifted.

"You're different. I don't know how it's possible since it's only been a month. But you are" she stated

"Different how?" he was curious

"I don't know. But it's good" she smiled at him and he returned one.

They talked a lot during the day, mainly about other people. They tried to avoid an unpleasant situation, feared to destroy what was going on between them at that moment. The only time they talked about themselves was when she made him tell her everything about his move to Atlanta. She made sure to tell him how proud of him she was and how she always believed in him.

They agreed she would stay a few days to make sure things would calm down in Bluebell. She dragged him shopping with her because she had to buy clothes if she had planned to be there for another few days.

Maybe it is possible for them to be just friends, He thought to himself.

In the evening they returned to the apartment. They went in and she put the bags at the door.

"I'm glad you stayed"

"Me too," she replied

Then before he knew what was happening, her lips were on his, kissing him softly. It's been so long since he felt that way. He couldn't define it. There was no need. He kissed her back. He pressed his hands to her cheeks. He couldn't help it and he kissed her back. It felt right. Too right. But then he came to his senses and stopped her.

"No, I can't"

"Wade," she whispered almost pleadingly

"I'm sorry, Zoe, I can't. I don't want to have a one-night stand. Not with you"

"Wade, I didn't mean it ..." Now it was her turn to hold his face in her hands, "Don't think about it as a one-night stand. Think of it as ... reminiscing. Bringing back good memories"

He couldn't take it. He wanted her. He needed her closer. He took her with him toward his room without breaking the kiss. On the back of his head, he knew it was a mistake and that he shouldn't do it. He felt the voices mingle in his head. But he couldn't stop.

He put his hand on her the small of her back and pulled her to him. Her arms encircled his waist and held tight.

Hours later they found themselves in his bed.

He pulled her closer to him. They lay together, her body curled to his in a perfect fit. He continued to trace his finger along her arm.

They were both silent. None of them dared to say a word, and break this moment...

Both are afraid of the next morning.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **I know some asked not to put them back together soon. So just to clear up my thoughts – they're not together. I just feel there is no chance that they would spent so much time together, alone, without something to happen. So I hope you will understand the decision. oh, they're obviously not done talking. if there's something specific you feel they have to talk about, let me know. Can't wait for your reviews!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys,**

 **First, I want to thank you all for the amazing reviews to the previous chapter! You have no idea how much it makes me happy and how it makes me want to continue.**

 **Your reviews helped me a lot with this chapter. I got stuck somewhere, I knew where I wanted to go, and your thoughts just helped me get there. So please, don't stop!**

 **Some of you mentioned a pregnancy - I'll be honest, I haven't decided yet ... So if someone has strong feelings towards this idea – positive or negatives, It is time to say :)**

 **Not much happened in this chapter ... But it was necessary.**

 **Would love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!**

* * *

Her breathing was the first thing he felt when he woke up in the morning. As if she didn't move at all at night, she was curled up to him, her hand resting casually on his chest. He liked the feeling of her so close to him, he couldn't deny it. They lay calmly, but what was going on inside his head and his heart was the opposite. He missed her so much, been so long since he felt that way. But he just couldn't go there again. And this night proved beyond any doubt that they can't even be friends. No matter how hard they try.

He got out of bed quietly, doing everything so as not to wake her. He left her a note on the bedside table. The note said he went to work and he will return in the evening.

About an hour after he left, she woke up. She read the note he left behind, and sighed ... she waited for it for so long. But it didn't go as she had planned, she didn't regret what happened for a second, but she was afraid of his reaction. She wanted it to happen, just not now, it made everything more complicated that way and now they will have to deal with it.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He did everything to prolong this day as much as possible.  
He entered the apartment in the evening and found her sitting on the couch with his laptop, she seemed distracted.

"Hey"

"Oh, hey. I hope you don't mind me using your laptop, I wanted to order food and I don't know anything here," she spoke so quickly. He smiled

"It's okay, I don't mind"

"Good" she smiled back. He sat next to her.

"So how was your day?" She asked after ordering the food.

"It was good. I was in the office all day"

"Yes, I noticed the tie. It looks good on you"

He blushed a little and reached to take it off "Thanks, I kinda hate wearing ties. But what can you do"

"You get used to it," she smiled softly. He nodded

"So ..."

"So ..."

They said in unison. Both tried to avoid silence.

"Well, we can finally stop beating around the bush and talk about what happened last night? Because I don't know about you, but I couldn't take it out of my mind all day" she said

He sighed, "What is there to talk, Zoe? It doesn't change anything"

"You're making a mistake"

"Maybe," he shrugged

"I don't understand you. Why are you pushing me away? Don't tell me you didn't feel anything yesterday. What we have is not going to disappear"

"I'm not denying that I want you. And you're right. It isn't just going away. It took away everything I had not to grab you and kiss you when I saw you again. You have no idea at all. But I'm not doing this again" He paused and took a deep breath, "I don't want to do that to myself, Zoe. I can't lose you again ... I don't know if I can get over you again" he admitted

"But why do you think you'll need to? Why does being with me mean that you'll lose me?"

"I don't get why you're insisting so much. Especially after what I did to you"

"So is that it? I thought I had made it clear that I have forgiven you. Long time ago" she frowned

"It doesn't matter; I can't promise you I won't make mistakes again"

"I don't want you to promise that. I can't promise that, either"

"Zoe ... just ... let it go ..." He sighed. It's like this conversation sucked away every ounce of strength he had in him. That is exactly what he tried to avoid.

"You make me think you never wanted this"

"What?" He was surprised by this statement

"I get it, you're scared. I'm scared too. But I know what I want, what I need"

"You say that now. But how am I supposed to trust what you're saying?"

"Ouch. What is that supposed to mean?" Her tone became angry

"Zoe ... A few days ago you left the guy you called the love of your life" it was hard to get it out

"It's not fair Wade" she whispered

"It's the truth"

She closed her eyes, "It wasn't true. And you know it"

"You know what; it doesn't really matter if I know. The question is whether you know. And if you know, why did you say that?"

"I'm not with him anymore. I'm here. This is supposed to be the answer for you. But it's not enough, right?" It came out more sarcastic than it intended

"You have to understand that your words have impact. And consequences. You cannot throw such statements, then act differently and expect that everything would be as you want it to. What am I supposed to get from that? You say you want to get back together. But I don't know if I can count on it. On you"

"Well, you not trusting me is another matter. I know I made some wrong decisions. And I made a lot of mistakes. But never in my life did I mean anything as much as I mean it now, I want you" Tears welled in her eyes. She got up and ran into the room.

"Zoe," he called after her, but she already closed the door behind her

She shouldn't have let it happen. The devastation that followed was like nothing she has felt in the past. It was as if someone had knocked all the air from her lungs and left her breathless and weak. She began to think about what they went through, all the mistakes they both made. She tried to find a ray of light in this situation. She wanted to put together a plan, because that is her. She is a planner. Yet she couldn't.

"Maybe it really is too late," she thought to herself.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

She left the room with her purse and some bags in her hands and walked toward the door

"Going somewhere?"

"Home"

"Home as in...?"

"Bluebell. Home" She repeated in an angry tone. She didn't like what he was trying to imply with this question

"Come on, Zoe. You can stay."

She raised an eyebrow

"Okay, at least let me take you"

"Yeah, and get stuck in the car with you for 6 hours? No thanks. I'll save it for both of us"  
she hissed

He sighed, "come on, you can't be angry at what I feel. It's best for both of us"

"Please don't decide in my name what is the best thing for me"

"I"

"It doesn't matter, Wade. I'm not angry. Goodnight" She sounded defeated. She walked out of his apartment and left him staring at the door.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Hours later she was back in Bluebell, tired after a long, sleepless night, all she wanted was to get to the carriage house, put her head on the pillow and disappear. But as always, nothing went according to her plan

"What are you doing here?" She opened the door and was surprised to see the Lavon sitting on her bed. She was even more surprised to see him sitting next to Lemon. She didn't have to ask them really, she knew the answer.

"Um ... We came to welcome you back?" Lavon tried

"He called you"

"Well, he called Lavon really, I'm probably not the first person he would call to check on you, or the second" Lemon said openly while Lavon squeezed her hand hard and smiled at Zoe. Only then Zoe noticed that they were holding hands. She took a mental note to ask Lavon later but at the moment all she wanted was to be alone.

"As much as I'd love to hear about the latest developments" She raised an eyebrow at Lavon "I drove all night and I just want to go to sleep," she reached into a drawer and was looking for some fresh clothes. Her eyes landed on a pile of letters connected with a rubber band buried deep in the drawer.

"Can you please throw these on your way out?" She gave the pile to Lavon

"Now wait a minute, Zoe Hart. What happened between you two?" Lemon insisted. Zoe realized that the quickest way to get her to go was to tell her what happened

"I got there, I confronted him, he said some harsh things, I can't blame him, I tried to talk to him, we decided to try being friends, and we had sex, fought back. And here I am," she tried to shorten it as much as possible.

"Did you tell him?"

"No," Zoe stopped her before Lemon had the chance to complete her sentence

"No? Why not?"

"He is stubborn; he doesn't want to be with me. Apparently he can't trust me. Besides, I think he knows"

"Zoe, it doesn't matter whether he knows it or not, all that matters is that he needs to hear you say it. You said it to Joel. In front of everyone. In front of him. You referred to Joel as the love of your life. You agreed to marry Joel, Zoe! Believe me when I say that he has to hear it from you"

"Lemon, you weren't there, you didn't hear what he said. I gave everything I had," she sighed. "I even told him about the stupid letters," She laughed bitterly, pointing to the pile that was in Lavon's hands.

"Letters?"

"Yes, just some letters I didn't have the courage to send" She stared at them, "When I was in New York," she whispered, Lemon immediately realized what she's talking about  
"And now it's too late," Zoe added. She went back to look into the drawer and pulled out clothes

"So I hope you understand now why I would love to be alone for a while. Close the door behind you," she called, and went into the bathroom.

"Letters, huh ...?" Lemon said loudly and took them quickly from the Lavon.

"Lemon ..." he warned her

"What?" She looked innocently, "I just want to recycle them. Poor trees"

He raised an eyebrow, but he also knew that no one messes with Lemon Breeland…


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys,**

 **Sorry for the late update. Exams took over my life and I wrote a whole chapter that was deleted by mistake and I almost cried. Fortunately, I was able to recover most of it.**

 **Thank you for your comments regarding the pregnancy and all the reviews in general.**

 **Would love to hear your opinions again.**

 **Sorry for the mistakes in English.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

It was Thursday morning. He lazily rolled out of bed and stumbled toward the bathroom.

"Too early," he muttered to himself. He splashed cold water on his face in order to wake himself up. He leaned against the sink and sighed deeply. He is already thinking about her. He cleared his throat as if trying to ignore his thoughts. He hadn't spoken to her since the previous weekend. Since she left back to Bluebell.

It's going to be a long day.

He was about to leave the house at his office when the phone rang

"Hello?"

"Hey, boss, it's Ben. There's a package waiting for you"

"If you call me boss again, I'll fire you," he chuckled, "a package for me? From whom?"

"It does not say, but it must be a girl ... it's yellow, with lemons?" He wondered aloud

"I'll come by to take it before I go to the office"

It's strange, he thought to himself. Why would Lemon send him a package? And without mentioning anything to him?

Two hours later he was sitting in a chair in his office, he looked at all the work ahead but couldn't take his eyes off the package that was placed at the edge of the table.

"Dear friend, I hope you'll understand why I did it," said the note on the package.

He opened it once he got to the office and saw in it a stack of envelopes on which his name was written. He understood immediately what it was. He put the package aside, he knew that to get through the day, he cannot deal with it now.

It worked for just an hour.

He reached for the stack of envelopes, pulling some out randomly.

 _"_ _Wade_ _,_

 _You wouldn't know it, but it's the tenth page I spend only on the first sentence_ _._

 _How are you? I know, not the best question, huh? But it is really important for me to know ... I don't know why I'm writing this. My phone is in my hand all the time and since yesterday my finger keeps going to your name and I almost press it. Just almost. But no_ _._

 _I'm mad at you, you know? And mad at myself equally. I'm mad at you because you should have come talk to me if you felt that I was pressuring you. And mad at myself because ... well, I'm not sure I gave you enough confidence to talk to me. But hey, what's new? This communication is certainly not our forte. I don't blame myself, because what you have done killed me. I wish you would talk to me before_ _..._ _Your remarkable ability to destroy everything that is important to you will never cease to annoy me._

 _I didn't send you this letter. I will leave it aside until I will have the courage to write something better. Because this letter will make you think that I'm not okay. I'm not. And you will know straight, because you know me. So forgive me, but this letter, you will not get_ _. "_

he proceeded to the next one

 _"_ _Wade_ _,_

 _I miss you. I can't believe it, but it's true. I Miss our conversations. The way you get me. The way you hold me at night. The way I feel your reactions in my skin. I miss the way in which you say my name_ _._

 _I see you in everything, it's a little weird. Can you imagine yourself in New York?_

 _There's a crazy storm happening outside. Do you remember our storm ...? I remember. And that night_ _"_

He read the same lines over and over again.

 _"_ _writing letters is funny, don't you think? I could easily write you an email. But no, it's too easy. And scary too. I can send it to someone else by mistake_ _._

 _I have a date today_ _"_

It hurt. It hurt so much. Everywhere. He threw the letter on the table, he couldn't continue to read it.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Three weeks have passed since the last time he talked to her. He knew she was okay from the conversations he had with Lavon, but no more than that, they always tried to avoid the subject.

He tried to have a routine, during the day he worked in the offices and in the evening he would come to the bar, mainly to relax after a long day.

It was a Friday night. As usual, he went to the bar at the end of the workday. He went to sit at the bar while he tried to loosen the tie that made him feel suffocated

"You're not really a tie person, huh?" Ben shouted across the bar

"What gave it?" Wade smiled sardonically

Ben handed him a beer and Wade nodded to him in gratitude.

"So ... it seems really busy here tonight. You get along?"

"Yes, another bartender announced that she was ill and couldn't find a replacement"

Wade eyes scanned the area. He rose from the chair and began to roll up his sleeves

"What are you doing?" Ben looked at him curiously

"What do you think I'm doing?" Wade found his way back behind the bar. "What are you looking at, there are customers who are waiting for us," Wade winked at him and immediately went to work.

A few hours later, when the last customer left, they sat at a table with a bottle of beer in their hands.

"Looks like you enjoyed tonight"

"I really enjoyed. The truth is I missed it."

Ben raised an eyebrow, "Really? Is it so bad in the offices?"

Wade chuckled, "Not bad. But it's just ... too much talk and too little action. You know what I mean? Mixing drinks, talking to customers... just managing the bar. That's what I love to do"

"I see ... so can't you ask them to run the bar here?"

"I can. But if want to run a bar, I have my own, at home"

"And you don't want to go back there," Ben stated

"It's complicated" Wade took a big gulp

"Complicated, like girl-complicated"

Wade smiled sadly

"Something likes that"

"The girl who was here a few weeks ago"

"You're relatively smart for a kid"

"I'm 22 years old!" He exclaimed loudly, Wade laughed.

"Like I said, a kid"

"I'm going home. You did a really good job today," Wade tapped him on the shoulder and left

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He was about to go to bed when his phone rang suddenly. He saw his father's name on the screen

"Dad? Everything all right?"

"Why didn't you tell me the pretty doctor came to see you?"

"That's why you're calling at this hour? God, I thought something happened to you"

"This is important enough. I went to her today to check on my leg"

"And what did she say?"

"She came to you and you had a fight"

Wade sighed, "About your leg"

"Ah, nothing. Everything is fine. Anyway, I invited her to dinner, to thank her for everything she did for me"

Wade smiled sadly to himself. He knew how much his father liked Zoe.

"Good for you Dad"

"And I want you to come"

"Dad," Wade said sternly

"What? Come, you eat, talk, and everything will work out"

"I don't think that our problems will be solved by a dinner" Wade murmured

"Well, what do you think that will solve your problems? What exactly are your problems?"

Wade sighed. "I don't know, Dad," he almost whispered,

"Oh, God" Earl sighed loudly "Son, get yourself together. Look, it's obvious that you can't be without her..."

"It is also obvious that I can't be with her," he interrupted, his voice disappointed, even hurt a bit

There was a long pause

"You know, it doesn't have to be that hard. You just have to take the chance. As with anything in life, you never know if this is the right decision. I get you're afraid to get hurt. I get that more than anyone else. After your mother died, I was so afraid to love, to feel again, I hid in a bottle for 20 years. Hiding did nothing for me and it will do nothing for you. "

"Dad"

"Take the chance, son. Don't be like your old man"

Wade sighed

"Think about it. I'll let you sleep now. Good night son"

"Goodnight Dad"

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It was afternoon; Lavon and Lemon were at the Rammer Jammer.

"You have to do it" Lavon pleaded

"I don't, and please be quiet," she whispered

"You've got to do what?" Zoe asked suddenly. She went into the bar and saw them sitting together. In recent weeks, they acted strangely and avoided her. At first she thought she was imagining, that they just wanted to be alone, but as time passed she realized it was more than that and she was determined to find out what happened.

Lavon and Lemon panicked and turned toward her. They looked at each other panicked.

"Lemon sent Wade your letters" Lavon let out

"Lavon!"

"What did you do?" Zoe stuttered.

"I'm sorry, I had to do something," Lemon tried to apologize

Zoe sighed.

"Stop, that's fine"

"Wait a minute, what?" Lavon and Lemon looked at her almost in shock

"Everything that is written there, that's the truth. And I told him everything and it's didn't help. I accepted it already" she said in defeat.

Lavon looked at her "and you're not even a little curious to know what he thinks?"

"Maybe. But I'm not going to make an effort to find out"

"Oh, I don't think you have to work hard ..." Lemon signaled them to look toward the front door.

It was Wade who came in.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys**

 **Thank you so much for your thoughtful reviews. Keep them coming!** **J**

 **As for the letters – Wade read only a few. I promise he'll read the rest. Just not in this chapter.**

 **Sorry for my English mistakes**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

The Weeks that have passed from the moment she came back from Atlanta were difficult for her. The Town's people more or less understood that something had happened, but everyone tried not to remind her about him. Still, it was quite difficult because his presence was still there everywhere in Bluebell. She was relieved that at least she didn't have to see him every day because it would break her.

And here she was today. A week since he returned suddenly from Atlanta. A week from the moment he entered the Rammer Jammer and she couldn't stand it and just slipped away quietly. She knew that he saw her, but she couldn't deal with it at that moment. And this week she did everything she could to avoid him. She didn't know to explain why, but the thought of seeing him, talking to him made her feel mixed feelings.

She sat on the couch in her home when there was a knock at the door.

"Big Z, are you dressed?" He shouted outside

"come in, Lavon" She chuckled to herself, "What's going on?"

"You tell me. He has been here for a week now and you haven't talked. You weren't even in the same room together"

She sighed, "Don't you start. I already heard everything from Lemon"

"Good, because we can't understand you"

"There's nothing to understand. The ball is in his court now"

"But how does he supposed to do something if you keep on running all the time?"

"If it's so important to him, he'll find a way," she murmured

"Right ... Anyway, this is yours" He handed her a package

"What is this?" She asked while starting to open it "Oh"

"Yes ..."

"He gave them to you?"

"Yes. He wanted to return it to you himself, but ... you know. Anyway, he says that it doesn't belong to him ... it's yours. Lemon had no right to intervene and he didn't want to read it without you approving. .. "

"There are some open envelopes" she raised an eyebrow

"Well, you cannot blame him ..."

She nodded and smiled sadly to herself.

"Thanks Lavon"

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

No one really knew why he came back. On the one hand he said he came to see his father. But his father felt better already. Others thought he was coming to check on the Rammer Jammer. But people close to him knew exactly what the reason he was back in Bluebell was.

The first two days he tried to talk to her, get to her somehow. It didn't work. In retrospect, he was grateful because he had no idea what he was going to say. In the following days he decided to give her some space, he thought that time would help and she would come to him when she's ready.

"You have to do something before it's too late," Lemon noted in his face. They sat in Lavon's Kitchen and prepared breakfast. He hoped that she would also come, but like last week, she was nowhere near there.

"What do you mean too late? What do you know Lemon? He said, his voice concerned

"I don't know anything, really. But she will not wait for you forever. It's not fair to her"

"What do you want me to do? I'm trying, she runs away from me"

"maybe You didn't try hard enough."

"I don't know what else to do"

"First of all, go to Brando Wilkes' wedding"

"I don't know ... I like Brando and it was nice of him to invite me, but ..."

"But nothing. This is your chance"

He sighed to himself. He knew Lemon was right.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Zoe stood on the side of the room and watched them all. The wedding ceremony was beautiful and at this moment she was so happy that she got the chance to meet that side of her family. She saw in the distance Vivian Charles and little Harley. They looked happy, looked like they were a united family. Her thoughts were interrupted at the moment when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned back

"Joel!" She exclaimed enthusiastically. She was really happy to see him. She wasn't surprised that he was there, of course, it was his grandmother who got married. "I didn't see you"

He laughed, "Yes, I noticed. You were engrossed in the ceremony." She blushed slightly. "How are you?" He smiled warmly

"I'm fine. What about you? How is London?"

They spoke for several minutes, laughing and telling experiences. As if nothing has changed, the friendship part of their relationship always worked fine.

Her eyes suddenly caught him standing across the room, staring at her intently. It seemed like her heart stopped beating as she stared back, trying to read his look. She thought that there was a bit of angry note to it, but she couldn't say for sure.

He felt stupid. About how he got there, about how he stared at her. About The fact that he wanted to see her. There he was, seeing her with her ex-boyfriend, from whom she recently separated, standing relatively close, both smiling. He felt frustrated.

Joel noticed that she was distracted and saw the reason. Zoe put her hand his arm "I'll talk to you later. It was good to see you"

She moved across the room, to the place where he was standing.

"What are you doing here?" She almost whispered. She knew her uncle loved him very much, but she didn't think he would actually come.

"Your uncle invited me"

The answer he gave her didn't satisfy her, and he knew it.

"So. You and Joel," he said in his bitter tone

"Don't. Don't you dare even" she said firmly, trying to keep a calm face

"Shakespeare wants you back"

She opened her mouth to speak, but decided not to. She grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

"Wade, my friend," Joel called and grabbed Wade for a hug.

"Joel" Wade couldn't deny that he was glad to see him. He was very fond of Joel, despite everything.

"How are you, buddy? I hear you're in Atlanta now, that's great!"

"Yes ...well, now I'm here again" he said almost quietly and didn't elaborate. It was the first time he mentioned something about it.

"Oh, Wade, I want you to meet my date," Joel introduced him to the girl standing next to him, "Carly. Carly, Meet Wade, he's the inspiration for my new book. Wade, Carly and I met on a campaign to promote the book and you know, we just clicked" Carly and Joel looked at each other, both smiling

Wade felt stupid. "Nice to meet you." He smiled sincerely. He felt ... guilty.

Suddenly he saw Zoe trying to make her way through the crowd.

"Go," Joel gestured for him. Wade nodded to him and followed her.

"Zoe," he called her. She didn't turn and went into an empty room. He rushed after her.

"Stop it. What the hell was that, Wade? _You and Joel_." She repeated it as if it disgusted her

"I'm sorry okay? I ... I was Jealous"

"You have no right to be jealous. You didn't want me, remember?"

He shut his eyes and sighed

"I'm tired of us always hurting each other. And for the life of me, I can't figure out what you want"

"Maybe I just want some time"

"I gave you enough time," she snapped, the anger in her voice surprised him "a month. It wasn't enough for you to figure out your feelings"

"Zoe ... I never denied what I feel. You know what I feel. But there is more than that. It is not just that"

"Yes, yes, you don't trust me. We've been there, remember?" She waved it

"Can you just listen to me?"

"What do you want, Wade?" She took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears from coming out

"I came here hoping to see you, okay? I hate what we are now"

"It was your decision." She said in a choked voice

"It wasn't"

"Yes it was" she shot back, this time aloud.

"You know, it's funny. I sat one evening in the bar in Atlanta. I looked around; I saw how the place I helped create has become so successful. And all I could think of at that moment was all you told me when you were there. And at that moment I knew I couldn't stay there more. Because it didn't make sense without you. So I left"

"Why would you do that?" She narrowed her eyes, she looked tired

"You know why"

"Wade ... What are you saying?" She asked. She didn't dare to hope that what he was saying was what she wanted to hear, but she also prayed that it was.

He approached her and put his hand on her cheek. And then everything exploded. The tears began to flow from her eyes

"You are the love of my life, Zoe Hart. There's nothing in the world that I'm more sure of. I ... I just need some time. Please"

She nodded. Her face showed every emotion she experienced ever.

"Okay ... but you'll have to do something for me in return"

"Ok ... What is it?" He said apprehensively

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

They stood at the entrance to carriage house.

"Wait here," she went inside, he was still trying to figure out what she wanted him to do for her

She came out a few minutes later

"Here, take this," she gave him back the stack of letters: "I want you to read the rest"

"Are you sure?" He whispered

"Yes. Promise me you will read everything"

"Okay, I promise. Goodnight Doc" He kissed her on the cheek

"Good night Wade" she smiled as she watched him go away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys.**

 **So I got a lot of reviews for the last chapter. Many of you questioned the "it doesn't make sense without you" and the "I need time" statements. I hope the next chapter clarifies my thoughts a little. I appreciate everyone who takes time to review! Thank you.**

 **The next chapter might be the last one. I'm not sure. Anyway, I have a new story in mind.**

 **Would love to read your thoughts.**

 **Sorry for my English mistakes!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

He sat on the couch and stared at the coffee table. The pile of letters was lying on it. She asked him to read them. He was tired but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep without reading them.

Ho took the pile and placed it beside him on the couch. He pulled out one letter, he sat cross-legged, leaning against the couch, took a deep breath and opened the first envelope

 _"_ _it has been a while since I wrote to you. Or maybe to myself. So I met this guy and we've been seeing each other for the last month. He is a writer. He is really interesting. In fact, He is amazing. He's smart and talented and we have so many common interests_ _._

 _So why do I wake up every morning feeling this void inside of me? It's feels like everything was one big lie. It feels like I'm pretending I'm happy. And I cannot pretend anymore. I smile, but it's not real. I got to the point where I prayed that I could figure it out so I can fix it. I do not want to feel that way anymore_ _._

 _He asked me earlier today about my past relationships_ _._

 _And I just... I couldn't speak. He doesn't know about you. I don't think I'll ever tell him. How do you tell something like that_ _?_

 _I fell in love with you and you broke my heart_ _. "_

His heart skipped a beat and he looked at the words for a long time. He closed his eyes. Maybe reading the letters now wasn't such a good idea. He decided to read another one

 _"_ _This day was exhausting. Both physically and mentally_ _._

 _There was a serious car accident and many people got injured, so it was extremely busy at the hospital today. But it wasn't the hard part ... today of all days I kept seeing you everywhere_ _._

 _Joel came to see me at work and I couldn't talk to him. Oh, Joel is the guy I'm dating .the writer_ _._

 _He wanted us to do something together tonight but I told him I was tired. This was partially true. I really enjoy him because we love the same things, our interests are similar. We do a lot of things together. I'm very fond of him. He's a great person_ _._

 _We ended up watching a movie at my place_ _._

 _He told me he loved me. And I told him back_ "

Reading about Joel was the last thing he wanted to do at this time. He was about to give up and go to sleep, but he decided against it and went to open another letter

 _"_ _I guess you've got the message, and you know I'm not coming back. I'm sorry it had to be done this way. But I cannot think of any other way ... It's not that I can call you to tell you. Not a chance. I have a boyfriend now; we've been together for almost 3 months. I really love him. As a person, as a good friend, as a conversation partner. He's a great guy_ _._

 _But there is one problem_ _._

 _I fell in love with you, Wade. And I don't think I could ever love anybody as much as I love you_ _._

 _Remember when you kept teasing me about George? It sounds so silly now that I think about that time. George is a great guy too. But when I remember what I felt for him, it was nothing. I built it all in my head. And even though we are quite the same, for some reason, it's always been you who really got to see me. The real me._ _.._

 _I needed you just as you needed me_ _._

 _It's always been you. I have a feeling it will forever be you_ _._

 _But I have decided. And the best thing right now is to stay away_ _"_

He swallowed hard. Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. He lifted his head and saw her standing at the entrance. He opened the door for her.

She stood there wearing her short shorts and a T-shirt, no makeup at all and with her hair pulled. She looked like she just woke up from sleep, which may be the truth because it was 3 o'clock in the morning.

"I hope that's okay. I saw the lights on so ..." she said hesitantly

"Yes, of course" He stepped aside and let her get inside. She passed him and went on her way to the couch, "What are you doing awake?" She asked when she noticed the pile of letters on the table. Her eyes immediately moved to the sofa and saw one of the letters on the couch. "Oh," she paused. She took the letter in her hand and began to skim over the text. He stood in front of her, rubbing his neck, not knowing what to do. She noticed that, she picked up the rest of the pile and threw it behind the couch. He narrowed his eyes "Um ... I thought you wanted me to read them"

"I wanted. I still do. But what I want to say is more important now. About what you said earlier -"

"Wait, can I say something before?" He looked with pleading eyes almost

She smiled slightly and both sat on the couch, close enough to see each other properly and far enough to not touch.

"I want to explain. When I said that I don't trust you ..."

She lowered her eyes.

"You have to understand something ... you never told me how you really feel " he continued

"You know how I feel," she interrupted

"Maybe ... maybe I need to hear it"

She closed her eyes. She knew he was right. That's why she found herself uncomfortably tossing and turning in bed tonight, unable to sleep. She wasn't calm. She gave him all the letters to read. She wanted him to know what it said. To understand a little what she'd been through all those months. But was it enough? She felt uneasy, as if there was a ticking bomb over her heart which could explode at any moment. She thought about their last conversation. He asked for some time. She was willing to give it to him, but why? She wanted to understand why he would need more time.

"Why is it so hard for you to say it?" he whispered

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

"The reason I wanted you to read the rest of the letters was so you'd understand that you were always the one. It's always been you. No matter what happened, who happened... But as I lay in bed tonight, I suddenly realized it was not enough."

She took his hand in hers

"It's the first time in my life where I really mean it. I just didn't know how to deal with all the this feelings"

She saw that he listened, his eyes were fixed on her, and every fiber in him listened to her

"I left New York because I ran away. I thought that the reason that my life seemed so messy was you ... I left with an incredible pain. I didn't know what to do with it and I let the pain take over me. Then Joel came. And I did everything I could to bury my true feelings. And at some point I felt that I did it, I succeeded. But it all fell apart as soon as I got back here. As soon as I saw you, I knew it couldn't last. But I kept insisting and I pretended I was happy. But inside, the pain was unbearable. "He squeezed her hand tightly, as if he was afraid she was going to stop talking and he wanted to encourage her to continue. And she did.

"I think back on everything ... George, Joel ... it was nice. Safe. In my head I built an illusion of such great love ... but it was nothing. But you, Wade, God, you're so different. Everything in me screams that I love you" She was smiling now as she said each word, as if a great weight was lifted from her heart. This was the truth, a truth that came from deep inside of her. She realized there is nothing stronger and powerful than the truth.

"So here, now you know. I love you," she took a deep breath. Her voice sounded more calm and confident than ever.

Telling Zoe he loved her was one thing. But hearing _her_ say _she loves him_? It nearly took away every ounce of self-control that he had. He loved her desperately. In the deepest way possible. She found her way into his life, his heart, his soul.

He pulled her close and kissed her as if his life depended on it.

"I love you too, Doc," he whispered against her lips. They broke up only when the lack of air began to be a problem.

She pressed her forehead to his

"I'm done trying to stay away from you. So done," she kissed him gently. He smiled

"Me too."


	12. Chapter 12

**So sorry it took so long to update. Wasn't sure where I was going to take this story but now i know.  
This chapter is short and not a lot happens but it's important for the next chapter.**

 **I'd love to read your thoughts and ideas.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was him looking back at her. She smiled immediately

"Hey," she said sleepily

"Hey" he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear

"Ummm ... I love it"

"What exactly is it?" He tightened his grip on her. They lay cuddled in bed, not wanting to let go of each other

"You, me, together in bed"

"Yes .. I can get used to it" he kissed her head

"Do you think we should leave the house? We barely got out in the past 3 days ..." she moved her finger over his chest

"We had a lot of catching up to do ..."

"Do you think we can keep it to ourselves for a while?" she asked

"You don't want to tell people we're back together ..?" He wondered .. "We _are_ back together, right? I wasn't imagining…"

She smiled and smacked him in the chest with a laugh, "Yes, dummy. It's just that I love our bubble and I think we need a little more time for ourselves ..."

There was a knock at the door. "YO Wade!" they heard a shout from outside.

"Oh my God" Zoe squeaked

Wade groaned. he forced himself out of bed and away from her, he threw on boxers that were flung on the floor last night and made his way to the door.

He saw Lavon looking amused.

"Good morning, Sunshine. I just came to make sure you're alive"

"Living and breathing"

"Come for breakfast"

"Not so hungry," he tried to avoid

"Well then, maybe Zoe is" he chuckled, "Hey Big Z!" He yelled to her

She heard it and put a pillow over her head and hid under it

Wade laughed to himself, "We will be there soon"

He returned to the bed and picked up the pillow from her head and smiled at her terrified face. She lifted and leaned against the headboard.

"Are you ready?" He asked her

"Not really" she pulled him close to her

"It's just Lavon" He pressed his forehead to hers

"I know. I just feel we need a little more time to ourselves, alone. Without people asking us questions that maybe we don't have answers to yet"

"I know what you mean. I have an idea, what if we go somewhere for a few days? Just you and me. It will give us some time to ourselves away from everyone else"

"Yes, I would love that. Where would we go?"

"Wherever you want," he kissed her.

Thirty minutes later they made their way to the main house, hand in hand.

"Finally, you guys," They went inside and heard Annabeth call them. They weren't really surprised to see Lemon and George there too.

"Wow Lavon, I knew that you couldn't keep things quiet but I didn't think it would happen that fast" Wade said with a laugh as he and Zoe went to sit on the stools near the counter.

"Cmon', as if we needed him to tell us" Lemon raised an eyebrow at them and continued, "But I just have to make sure... is this a sex thing only or you two are back together?"

"Lemon!" Lavon and George shouted together

Zoe took a deep breath, "Well, there are a lot of old wounds that we had to reopen in order to be able to move on," she looked at Wade and continued, "and we're not over, it's a process," she took his hand and intwined their fingers, "but I love him and the best thing for us is to work on it together. It's too painful to be away from him "

He squeezed her hand.

"So to answer your question, Lemon, yes, we are together," Wade said, "if you must know, the sex works great as ever" he added with a mischievous smile

Zoe's cheeks reddened immediately.

"Wade !" She tried to be angry, but to no avail. She just bit her lip.

"Some things never change," George shook his head with a smile.

"So what are you going to do now?" Annabeth asked, "I mean ... you're living in Atlanta right now. You're moving with him, Zoe?"

The question caught her off guard. She had completely forgotten the fact that Wade didn't live in Bluebell. She looked nervous for a second. Wade noticed.

"Well, actually .. I don't live in Atlanta anymore. I'm coming back permanently.

He announced to everyone but it was mainly aimed at Zoe

"Wait, but what about your business there?" Lavon wondered

"It will continue as usual, there are some good people who can handle it. I'll have to go once in a while, but my home is here"

Zoe was relieved, but something was still bothering her, she didn't know what.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

An hour later, when they had finished breakfast, they returned back to the gatehouse.

"What is it?" They sat together on the couch and he noticed she was deep in thoughts

"What? Nothing"

He raised an eyebrow "Doc. I know you"

She nodded her head and looked at him for a few seconds before she got up and began pacing around the room from side to side. He looked at her and after about a minute she stopped walking and looked at him back

"You didn't give up on Atlanta because of me, right?" She opened her mouth at last, " I can go with you. Really," she spoke quickly without stopping for a second, She hadn't noticed between all the talking, but he got up and approached her. "I'll go there. I can do it. I don't want you to give up on it for me" she couldn't continue because his lips were on hers and they were kissing. He held her face in his hands, "you didn't stop babbling. I had to calm you down somehow," he whispered. He took her hand and they sat at the couch again.

"Zoe. I'm not giving up on Atlanta at all. I still have my job there, only in a slightly different form. I've been thinking about it for some time and I'm just doing what's best for me. That is, to be here, in Bluebell, in the Rammer Jammer. It would've happened regardless of us getting back together, "he wanted to calm her" to be with you just makes everything better" he didn't take his eyes off her

"I believe you. But you have to, no, you _need_ to know I wouldv'e gone with you, I would've moved with you," she tried to emphasize her intention and he understood what she was trying to say that was so difficult for her to express in words

"I know," he said confidently, pulling her to him. He held her tight and kissed her head. She immediately felt more relaxed.

"I need to go take a shower and then go to check the Rammer Jammer see that everything's good. What do you say that in the meantime you think about where you want us to go? We can even leave tomorrow.

"Okay," she whispered

He stepped into the shower and in the meantime started to tidy up the place

"Hey Doc, can you get me a shirt from the drawer please" he shouted to her from the shower

"Do you have any preference?" She shouted back

"Nope, whatever comes first"

She rolled her eyes. A typical Wade answer.

She opened the drawer and started to rummage among the various shirts. Suddenly she stopped in her tracks.

"Well, did you choose one?" he asked. It was quiet in the room. She didn't answer

"Doc?" He shouted again, and yet, there was no answer.

He got out of the shower wrapped only in a towel and opened the door

"Zoe, what-" He froze. He saw her sitting on the floor with a small box in her hands.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for all the reviews! it made me extremly happy.  
Sorry it took long and I'm sorry for the short chapter.  
This story is like my baby and I couldn't post something I wasn't happy with.  
I promise to update soon.**

 **English is not my language, so… sorry for that too :)**

* * *

"An Engagement ring" she said with a trembling voice, she couldn't lift her eyes away from the box in her hand

He walked slowly and sat beside her on the floor. His knee brushed up against hers and that's what caused her to look at him. Her eyes were shining with tears

"Ah, yes ... it belonged to my mother," he replied softly, though his felt his heart race

She gasped at the sound of those words; tears began to fall down her cheeks. He watched her looking back on the ring, which was shining even more as the sun filled the room.

"Zoe" He called her name softly.

She wiped her tears and tried to steady herself. She closed the box and put it in his hands. She stood up quickly. He watched her moving from side to side, she put on her shoes and was about to leave the room when she felt a hand stopping her, "Zoe, where are you going?" He asked almost in despair, seeing the emotions in her eyes.

"I don't know. I'm ... I'm not angry or anything, I'm fine. I just need to be alone now" she pleaded, releasing her arm from his grasp, "I ...I'm sorry," she stuttered out of the door.

Wade was standing there with a box in his hand trying to understand her reaction, but he couldn't. He wondered to himself if she thought he was going to propose to her and it scared her. But if so, what caused this behavior? He stood there for a long time and was looking for an answer that never came.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After trying to call her several times and getting no answer, he asked Lavon and Lemon to meet him in the kitchen.

"What did you do?" Lavon asked when he saw Wade's face as he entered the kitchen

"Why do you assume I did something?" Wade sighed

"Well, you called us to meet you, you look like somebody ran over your dog and Zoe is not with you. What happened?" Lemon was curious

He sat on a stool in front of them, and buried his face in his hands

"Honestly, I'm not sure," he raised his head, "Zoe found a ring in one of my drawers" he sighed deeply "my mom's engagement Ring" he added quietly

"No way, were you planning to propose?" Lavon shouted while Lemon just stood there, expressionless, trying to listen to the rest of the conversation.

"No, my dad gave it to me a while ago. I totally forgot it was there "

"And she thought you were asking her to marry you. Oh my God, what did you say?" Lavon continued to probe

"Oh my God," Lemon said under her breath, they heard it but ignored her

"That's the thing, I didn't say anything. She was in shock and she had tears, and suddenly she got up and ran away. She said she needed to be alone. I don't get it"

"Because you didn't say anything!" Lavon scolded him

"Oh my God" Lemon persisted, but they were immersed in their conversation

"What did you want me to say? We're not ready for marriage. I love her more than anything, but we never talked about it, we got back with each other just now and ..." He sighed deeply

"God, you two are complete idiots!" Lemon burst on them suddenly, they frowned

"Thanks Lemon, that really helps now," Wade said in despair

"No, you don't understand. She never thought you are going to propose to her. She must have thought that the ring was for Vivian"

"What?" He was confused. "Why would she think that?"

"Because you were with Vivian up until recently. That is the only logical explanation. Otherwise, why would you have a ring in your drawer when you just got back together only 3 days ago?" She explained. He let her words seep in slowly

"Oh God, she thought I wanted to propose to Vivian. I'm so stupid," he put his head in his hands

Lemon felt sorry for him, she approached and put her hand on his shoulder, "Yeah, you are" she scolded, "but luckily, you can fix it," she said softly

"How? She won't talk to me. I called her a few times"

"Prepare yourself man. You have a lot of groveling to do" Lavon patted his shoulder

"No, he did nothing wrong. You just go there now and talk to her like a grown up and explain everything"

Wade took a deep breath "thanks guys. I'll go find her now"

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He went to the carriage house and knocked on the door lightly. He heard her footsteps dragging on the floor and held his breath until she opened the door. She looked vulnerable and he could see the dried tears on her cheeks. He didn't think through and just pulled her in a hug, her head was buried in his chest and he felt her tightening her grip on him. They stood there for several minutes until she broke away first.

"Doc-" he started but was cut off by her

"Wade... I just want to be alone now" she said as she walked to her bed. She leaned her back on the headboard and snuggled with the blanket. He saw a box of tissues next to her and a suitcase on the other side of the bed. She saw his look "for our trip" she whispered. She knew he would think she'd run away and she wanted to reassure him. He nodded and came closer.

"Zoe, I'm not going anywhere before we talk. Or I talk, you can just listen"

"Please" she almost begged "I'm not mad at you. I swear. It was just a surprise. It's a lot to take in. I have to find a way to deal with it" she looked him in the eyes

"Deal with what?"

"The ring, Wade. you... you felt enough for Vivian to want to spend the rest of your life with her. That's not something I can just easily forget" she said in a strangled voice, lowering her gaze

He shook his head and allowed himself to sit next to her on the bed

"I never intended to propose to her" he paused for a moment before he continued "the ring... it wasn't for her." he reached into his pocket and pulled out the little box. He opened it and took the ring out "this ring...it's for you"

"What?" she looked up quickly and could barely speak

He saw the storm in her eyes and it brought a slight smile on his lips

"I'm not proposing, okay? Well, at least not now. It's not the time, yet"

"I don't understand"

"Look, I have had this ring for some time now. My dad gave it to me, after he left the hospital"

"Okay ..." She pursed her eyebrows

"You know the old man, he always wanted us to be together ..." He took her hand. There was a hint of a smile on her face.

"This Ring is yours. If you want it... When you're ready," he put the ring back in the box and put it in her hands. He watched quietly as she stared at her hand. "I don't care about rings, I care about you. It doesn't even have to be an engagement ring. It can be whatever you want it to be"

"What if I want it to be an engagement ring?"

She caught him off guard. "Then-"

"Relax, I was kidding," she interrupted

They remained silent for a few minutes. Her eyes glued to the ring. She finally looked up and he forced himself not to panic.

"Are you sure?" She asked

"Doc, this ring practically has your name on it. It was always meant to be yours"

"You're sure your dad is fine with it?"

"Seeing as my dad was the one to give it to me, I'll say I'm pretty sure. And I'm sure my mom would approve too if she was here" she smiled at that statement.

"People will ask questions"

"The answers are none of their business"

"Everyone will talk about it"

"You know it doesn't matter to me"

"You can't give it to me without it meaning something. It's ... it means something"

"Obviously, it means I love you and that one day, when we decide we are ready we'll move to the next step" he said calmly

He took the ring out of the box and slipped it slowly on her finger. Her eyes followed the path of the ring and she took a deep breath when it got to the right spot. She looked at him with eyes shining

"It's mine"


End file.
